Sexual assault...a MEN's issue??

I just finished reading the first chapter of Jackson Katz's new book, The Macho Paradox. I highly recommend grabbing a copy. The preface alone is enough to make you want to sit down and read it in one day. Jackson Katz, a male feminist, is active in a movement of men working to help end violence against women and children. An interesting concept. He takes the focus away from what women can do to protect themselves from an assault, challenging both women and men to recognize men's role in violence against women and children.

Katz starts his book with an exercise that throws a bit of reality right in your face. I've always known the steps that women have to take EVERYDAY to ensure their safety. When a woman is assaulted, she is immediately blamed for not taking the proper steps, using 'common sense', in order to avoid an assault. Katz addresses a group of men and women by asking men first how they protect themselves from assault on a daily basis. According to Katz, "occasionally a young guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.'" Laughter follows.

When the women are asked the steps they take, the steps that are so engrained they become subconsious actions, the list goes on and on. While reading this, I got a bit upset. I've always known the extra precautions women have to take, it's always pissed me off; but for some reason, I got even more upset than usual. Here's the list:

"Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I go to sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on teh street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street."

Sound familiar ladies?? Daily women take these steps. Men, however, laugh and joke about staying out of prison. This list pisses me off for a couple of reasons. First, it's not fair and most people just chalk it up to a fact of life for women. Fuck that. Why should it have to be a fact of life for women? Second, this entire list of actions we take to protect ourselves prepares us for an attack from a STRANGER. Hello!!! Statistics show that anywhere between 60 and 80% of sexual assaults are perpetrated by an acquaintance (90% when involving child sexual abuse), most of which occur in the victim's or perpetrator's home. Therefore, we prepare ourselves for stranger rapes, which are much less likely to occur. And then, we get blamed for failing to protect ourselves, for lacking common sense. Clearly this validates the rules of logic. Yet we let it go b/c it's a women's issue, right?

Katz argues that violence against women and children is just as much of a men's issue as it is a women's issue. I concur!

Read the book! And thank the men that are taking action! Stand Up Guys is a group located here in Rochester that is fighting violence against women and children! Go Stand Up Guys!