Current mood: sad : (
I missed a few days of working out while I was home and ooohhh boy did it catch up with me. I wanted to crawl in a hole and scream and cry when I tried getting back into yesterday. It hurt. A lot. Today was a bit better. While I was running I realized that I can relate working out to the healing process yet again. I took a few days off. Fell back into the terrible self-abusing cycle, I fell hard. Yesterday and today was like starting all over again. Attempting to pick up steam. Rebuild. Only now I'm much sadder and weaker than ever before.
It's said that if you take one day off from working out you lose a week of training and have to start over. I think taking one day of from healing is like losing a frickin year. I feel like shit.
I feel like withdrawing and crying at every single point of the day. I decided to call the martial arts people to see about some self-defense courses. Maybe they'll help me with my confidence. I also need to release some serious friggin anger. ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
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1 comment:
You're not alone Alisha!
Seems like we both fell back into the cycle at the same time. I get so frusturated w/ myself, when am I gonna stop this!?! Then I think, breathe Leah, you are safe right now. You can still heal.
We can keep healing!
It gives me hope that both of us are back to talking about it and getting back to healing in a relatively short period of time...
take care.
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